"物 理 学 的 忧 伤"
[警报声长鸣] [Siren wailing]
- 我生于1944年元月 - I was born in early January, 1944.
[婴儿啼哭] [Baby crying]
- 我生于1944年元月 - I was born in early January, 1944,
作为男性人类降世 as a human being of the male sex,
在一处兼作防空洞的古老墓穴 in a catacomb doubling as a bomb shelter.
怀有身孕的母亲曾藏身迷宫 My mother, pregnant with me, had hidden in its labyrinth.
英军战机轰炸了 English planes had bombed
这座拜占庭古墓上方的小村庄 the small village above this ancient Byzantine burial place.
[炸弹爆炸声] [Bomb exploding]
我真正降生于1968年冬的保加利亚 I was born in the winter of 1968 in Bulgaria,
在充满希望的世界里 in a world full of hope.
1968年的每个细节我都记忆犹新 I remember the year 1968 in detail, from start to finish.
那场革命、布拉格之春 The revolution, the Prague Spring,
苏联坦克... the Russian tanks...
- 我始终在诞生 - I have always been born.
- 我曾作为果蝇诞生于黎明前 - I was born as a fruit fly, two hours before sunrise.
又在日暮时分死去 I'll die this evening after sundown.
我记得冰河纪的肇始 I still remember the beginning of the Ice Age
与冷战的终结 and the end of the Cold War.
两个纪元里 垂死恐龙的身影 In both epochs, the sight of the dying dinosaurs
是最令我难以承受的景象 is one of the most unbearable things I have seen.
"1944年元月的防空洞"
我记得作为酸浆木重生 I remember being born as a cranberry shrub,
作为夜莺 as a nightingale,
作为银杏、七月的云 as a ginkgo biloba, a cloud in July,
作为被四月迟雪冻僵的早樱 an early cherry blossom frozen by a late April snow,
作为蜗牛 as a snail.
我们即是我 I am us.
- 我们即是我 - I am us.
- 但人生唯有童年与死亡 - But there is only childhood and death.
两者之间 空无一物 Between the two, nothing.
我正接近边境线 I'm approaching the border.
透过列车窗户 望见故乡的树影 Through the window of the train, I see the trees of home.
在第六与第七隧道间的瞬息 In a flash between the 6th and the 7th tunnel
我看见了童年苦寻的瀑布 I see the waterfall I always looked for as a child.
[人群嘈杂声] [Men and women chatting, indistinct]
- 快来围观 先生女士们！ - Come, come, ladies and gentlemen!
见识这条三米巨蟒 See the great python,
从头到尾足有三米！ 3 metres from head to tail!
马戏团重返我们村庄 The circus is back in our village.
魔术师让我的帽子凭空消失 A magician makes my hat disappear.
[观众欢呼鼓掌] [Audience cheering and applauding]
- 快来看！牛首人身的孩童！ - Step right up! A child with the head of a bull!
年仅十二的迷宫米诺陶！ The Minotaur of the Labyrinth, just 12 years old!
- 没有购买棉花糖 - Instead of buying cotton candy,
我钻进帐篷 I get into the tent.
帐内漆黑一片 It's dark inside.
恍若身处迷宫 It's like in the labyrinth.
这男孩神情如此哀伤 Such a sad looking boy.
我总在疑惑 为何希腊神话 I wonder why there are no children
唯一出现的孩童都难逃被食命运 The only ones that ever appear get eaten.
克洛诺斯 坦塔罗斯 忒柔斯 Chronos, Tantalus, Tereus,
宙斯 得墨忒耳 皆啖其子 Zeus, Demeter, they all ate their children.
而被米诺斯王囚于迷宫的米诺陶 And the Minotaur hidden away in the labyrinth
每九年吞噬七名少女 devoured 7 virgins every 9 years,
这头困在迷宫中的怪物 the Minotaur imprisoned in a labyrinth
是王室之耻 shame of his family,
王后帕西菲与公牛的后裔 offspring of the queen Pasiphae and a bull.
英雄忒修斯前来诛杀米诺陶 Enter the hero Theseus, intent on killing the Minotaur.
米诺陶之妹阿里阿德涅 The Minotaur's sister, Ariadne,
赠予忒修斯利剑与线团 gave Theseus a sharp sword and a ball of string.
一场恶战就此展开 A terrible battle ensued.
[低吼声] [Growling]
"阿 里 阿 德 涅 的 线 团"
我正试图解开自己迷宫的线团 I'm trying to unwind Ariadne's thread in my labyrinth.
闹钟 牙刷 玩偶 玩具车 An alarm clock, a toothbrush, a doll, a toy car,
女帽 化妆盒 电动剃须刀 烟斗... a woman's hat, a make-up kit, an electric razor, a pipe...
这些杂物的归宿会是何处？ What could contain such a collection of random things?
多半是只手提箱 A suitcase, most likely.
箱主会是何人？ To whom would that suitcase belong?
女子？男子？ A woman? A man?
因玩偶推断是女孩？ A girl, because of the doll?
或凭玩具车猜测是男孩？ Or maybe a boy, given the toy car?
都不重要 It doesn't matter.
我屏息凝望马戏团杂技演员 I'm dumbstruck, watching the circus acrobats.
有个与我同龄的姑娘 There's a girl who must be my age.
[鼓点渐强] [♪ Drumroll ]
她攀上父亲的肩头 She gets up on her father's shoulders.
刹那间我心跳骤停 For a moment, my heart stops.
随后她凌空跃起：一周半！ And then she leaps into the air: one, two and a half!
[鼓声雷动] [♪ Drumroll ]
她绽放灿烂笑颜 A huge smile on her face.
[观众欢呼喝彩] [Audience cheering and applauding]
这小杂技演员真美 She's pretty, the little acrobat.
[门扉开启声] [Door opening]
"若八点半前未归" "I'll lock you up in the basement
"就把你锁进地窖" if you're not back by 8:30,"
父亲如此警告 says my father.
那是我整个童年最残酷的惩罚 That was the worst punishment of my whole childhood,
被囚于阴冷地窖 to be locked in the cellar,
与黑暗 寒冷 鼠蛛为伴 in the dark, in the cold, with the rats and spiders,
如同米诺陶 like the Minotaur.
但即便这般威胁 But even that threat
也阻止不了我蹬上旧单车 couldn't stop me from jumping on my old bike
与伙伴们穿城赶往集市 and pedalling across town with my friends to the fairgrounds
去看马戏 收集 to see the circus and complete our collections
收集泡泡糖包装纸 of bubble-gum wrappers, 西方电影剧照 Western movie photos
以及塑料玩具士兵 and plastic toy soldiers.
正是在某次冒险中 我遇见了 I met my acrobat princess 我的杂技公主 on one of those escapades.
白天她在射击摊位工作 By day, she worked in the shooting gallery.
总会让我免费试玩 She let me have free turns.
后来我们溜出去吃冰淇淋 And later we went off to have ice cream.
[♪《少男少女》- 弗朗索瓦丝·哈迪♪] [♪ Tous les garcons et les filles by Françoise Hardy ♪]
两日欢愉！ Two days of bliss!
在马戏团离镇前的最后一晚 On the last evening, before the circus left town,
我们坐在她的房车里 we sat in her caravan.
吹着泡泡糖 We blew bubble-gum bubbles.
就在那时 我得到了初吻 That's when I got my first kiss.
她的双唇比火焰更炽热 Her lips were hotter than fire.
她叫普拉梅娜 Her name was Plamena.
[夏虫低鸣] [Insects chirring]
那夜我未曾合眼 I didn't sleep a single second that night.
破晓时分 我动身去作最后告别 When dawn broke, I set off to say a last goodbye.
跨上单车 在空荡街道疯狂疾驰 I mounted my bike and rode like crazy through the empty streets.
[引擎轰鸣] [Engine revving]
来到马戏帐篷曾经的驻地 I came to the spot where the circus tent had been.
但马戏团已人去楼空 But the circus had left.
[鸟鸣啁啾] [Birds chirping]
唯余沙地上的 There was only the sand of the circus rings
泡泡糖包装纸 and the bubble-gum wrapper.
她消失了 从此杳无音讯 She was gone, and I never saw her again.
这段刻骨初恋 My only souvenir from my first and greatest love
唯一的信物便是这张糖纸 is the bright paper wrapper of that bubble gum.
[关门声] [Door closing]
不必说 Needless to say,
地窖正等着迟归的我 the basement was waiting for me when I got home.
我却毫不在意 I didn't care.
紧攥糖纸贴于胸前 I clutched the gum wrapper against my heart,
思念着我的杂技少女 thinking about my pretty acrobat.
我时常追寻那支马戏团 I often looked for that circus,
带着杂技家族和我的普拉梅娜 with its family of acrobats and my Plamena.
跨上单车 I'd take my bike
骑往天涯海角也要找到她 and ride it to the ends of the earth to find her.
有时仿佛 Sometimes, it seemed like
仍能触及她的乌发 I could still touch her black hair.
她变换着姓名 操着异国语言 She had different names. She spoke foreign languages.
有时事后相视而笑 Sometimes, we'd smile at each other after.
有时持刀追砍我 Other times, she'd chase me with a knife.
有次她点燃香烟 径自离去 Once, she lit a cigarette and just walked away.
但终局之时 我再未得到 But I never, ever got a 泡泡糖纸 bubble-gum wrapper at the end.
由此确知并非是她 That's how I knew it wasn't her.
我开始习惯黑暗 I began to get used to the darkness.
为克服对黑暗的恐惧 To stop being afraid of the dark,
我关闭卧室所有灯光 I turned off all the lights in my bedroom.
竟渐生喜爱 I came to like it.
黑暗中可恣意想象 In the dark, I can make up anything I want.
宛如置身影院 It's like being at the movies.
最恨父亲破门而入 I hate it when my father comes in
重新点亮灯光 and turns the lights back on.
记得初次直面死亡的情形 I remember my first real encounter with death.
[鸟鸣啁啾] [Birds chirping]
那日我在庭院 I was in our yard,
看着祖父修理旧摩托车 watching my grandfather try to fix our old motorbike.
他突然如砖块般倒下 Suddenly, he dropped like a brick.
父母送我去表兄家 My parents took me to my cousin's.
他是唯一拥有锡兵军团的孩子 He was the only one with an army of tin soldiers,
当其他孩童只有 when all the other kids
廉价塑料士兵与印第安人玩具 had cheap plastic soldiers and Indians.
后来叔父来接我 Later, my uncle came to get me.
他说："他死了" He said: "He's dead."
死亡于我永远是锡兵的模样 For me, death will always look like a little tin soldier.
[闷响声] [Thudding sound]
[士兵操练声] [Soldiers chanting]
[古典乐飘扬] [♪ Classical music playing ]
多年后 我也成了士兵 Years later, there I am, a soldier as well.
每日清晨 巴察诺夫少校 Standing in front of us in the morning,
在我们面前重复训话 Major Batsanov repeats...
[俄语训斥声] [Batsanov speaking foreign language]
"情况只会更糟 "Things are gonna get worse. 绝不会好转" They're not gonna get better.
所以今天算你们这群蟑螂走运" So this is a great day for you cockroaches."
新兵们听得肃然 The young soldiers are impressed.
老兵们满脑子想着 The older ones are mostly thinking about
如何夜越铁丝网 how to get over the barbed-wire fence at night
与女人幽会片刻 to spend a few minutes with a woman.
我向来不擅体操 I was never good at gymnastics,
却在军营学会了 but one thing I learned in the army
跨越铁丝网的绝技 was how to clear a barbed-wire fence.
若非杂技演员之姿 If you weren't an acrobat,
要么跌落禁闭室 you'd either wind up in the hole
要么命根挂上铁丝网 or your balls would catch on the barbed wire,
如旗帜般高悬 flapping up there like a flag.
在巴察诺夫指挥下 Under the command of Major Batsanov,
我们都成了欲望马戏团的杂技演员 we all became acrobats in the circus of desire.
吊袜带 开罐器 A garter belt, a can opener,
烤面包机 打字机 收音机 a toaster, a typewriter, a radio.
这会是博物馆仓库吗？ Could this be a museum warehouse?
清单还在延续 The list continues.
圣经 古兰经 The Bible, the Quran, 《荷马史诗·伊利亚特》《但丁·神曲》 Homer's Iliad,Dante's Inferno.
大力水手等卡通角色的声音片段 Sound clips of cartoon characters like Popeye
赶猪大赛冠军的吆喝 and hog-calling champs.
阿道夫·希特勒 约瑟夫·斯大林 Recordings of the voices of Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin,
贝尼托·墨索里尼 富兰克林·罗斯福的录音 Benito Mussolini and Franklin Roosevelt.
缩微胶片与放映机 Microfilms and projectors,
以及驱动它们的发电机 with electric generators to operate them.
作家书房？非也 A writer's den? No.
这是时间胶囊 It's a time capsule.
"• 泡泡糖纸 • 兰博基尼照片 • 锡兵 • 茄子酱罐头"
这些物件深埋于15米地下 All these objects were buried 50 feet underground
1938年9月23日 on September 23, 1938,
封存在举世闻名的 in the world's most famous time capsule,
西屋电气为纽约世博会 engineered by Westinghouse Electric
打造的时间胶囊中 for the New York World's Fair.
铜牌铭刻着： A plate on the capsule was engraved with these words:
"五千年内不得开启" "Not to be opened for 5,000 years."
这种封存时间的狂热 This craze for preserving time in containers broke out
恰在时间向我们发难之前： just before time itself confronted us:
短短数年后 二战便全面爆发 The Second World War erupted just a few years later.
巴察诺夫少校： Major Batsanov:
"情况只会更糟 绝不会好转" "Things are gonna get worse. They're not gonna get better."
"及时行乐罢" 我喃喃自语 "So carpe diem it is," I muttered to myself,
声音稍大了些 a bit too loud.
少校耳力敏锐："你说什么？" Major Batsanov had keen hearing: "What?"
"及时行乐" 我重复道 "Carpe diem," I repeated.
因冒犯上级 For insulting a superior officer,
罚扫厕所兼禁闭三日 latrine duty and 3 days in the hole...
赤足无光 with no shoes and no lights.
本欲越墙去见新欢阿里阿德涅 Instead of jumping the fence to see my new Ariadne,
却因懂点拉丁文 I spent that night in the dark,
在黑暗中禁闭度夜 punished for the few words of Latin I knew.
[男子低语声] [Man whispering, indistinct]
我仍困于黑暗 I'm still there in the dark,
未能赴约梦中情人 instead of being with the woman of my dreams,
那位在蓝咖啡馆等候的姑娘... the one waiting for me at The Blue Café...
我决意破窗逃亡 I decide to jump out the window and escape.
足底被割伤 I slice my foot.
奔向我的阿里阿德涅 I run to my Ariadne.
雪地上自然留下血迹 Of course, I leave a trail of blood in the snow.
迷宫中本无红线指引 There was no red thread in the labyrinth.
阿里阿德涅毫不在意 Ariadne didn't give a damn
忒修斯能否生还 whether Theseus made it out or not.
他自伤其足以血引路 He cut his own foot to leave a trail in the labyrinth.
方得逃出生天 That is how he found his way out.
[♪《安全之舞》- 无帽男士乐队♪] [♪ The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats ♪]
[人群交谈声] [Men and women chatting, indistinct]
♪若想起舞便起舞♪ ♪ We can dance if we want to ♪
♪将你的朋友抛在身后♪ ♪ We can leave your friends behind ♪
♪既然他们不愿共舞♪ ♪ 'Cause your friends don't dance ♪
♪若他们拒绝起舞♪ ♪ And if they don't dance ♪
♪就算不上真朋友♪ ♪ Well, they're no friends of mine ♪
♪我说我们能去任何想去之地♪ ♪ I say we can go where we want to ♪
♪他们永远找不到的地方♪ ♪ A place where they will never find ♪
♪假装来自异世界♪ ♪ And we can act like we come from out of this world ♪
♪将现实远远抛离♪ ♪ Leave the real one far behind ♪
♪我们起舞吧♪ ♪ We can dance ♪
♪尽情舞动！♪ ♪ Dansez! ♪
那夜我没找到阿里阿德涅 I didn't find my Ariadne that night.
她随摇滚明星离去 She left with some rock star
未等候她的士兵 instead of waiting for her soldier.
我自嘲道："多大点事！ I told myself: "Big deal!
她不是第一个 也不会是最后一个" She's not the first. She won't be the last."
♪夜色未央 我亦年少♪ ♪ The night is young, and so am I ♪
♪从指尖到足尖 我们盛装出席♪ ♪ And we can dress real neat from our hands to our feet ♪
♪以凯旋之姿惊艳众生♪ ♪ And surprise 'em with a victory cry ♪
♪我说我们能随心所欲♪ ♪ I say we can act if we want to ♪
♪若我们不为 无人会为♪ ♪ If we don't, nobody will ♪
♪你可粗鲁无礼 超然物外♪ ♪ And you can act real rude and totally removed ♪
♪我亦可扮痴傻癫狂♪ ♪ And I can act like an imbecile ♪
♪我说我们起舞 尽情舞动♪ ♪ I say we can dance, we can dance ♪
♪万物皆已失控♪ ♪ Everything is out of control ♪
♪我们起舞 尽情舞动♪ ♪ We can dance, we can dance ♪
♪舞步踏遍每个角落♪♪ ♪ We're doing it from wall to wall ♪♪
数年后重逢 I saw her a few years later.
难以置信曾为她割伤双足 I couldn't believe I'd cut my foot for her.
我的收藏清单... A list of my collections...
小塑料兵 徽章 纪念火柴盒 little plastic soldiers, badges, commemorative matchboxes,
西部片剧照 弹珠 Western movie photos, marbles,
Bi-Bib土耳其泡泡糖包装纸 Bi-Bib Turkish bubble-gum wrappers,
糖纸上汽车图片的合集 a collection of pictures of cars from those bubble-gum wrappers.
移民蒙特利尔时 All these things stayed in the family home
这些悉数留在了故宅 when I immigrated to Montreal.
童年旧物与回忆 No childhood artefact or memory 皆未跨越大洋 crossed the ocean.
我开始崭新的 I started a new, object-free life,
无物羁绊的生活 an abstract existence...
盘坐空荡公寓的地板 sitting on the floor of an empty apartment,
两只行李箱 身旁的电话 two suitcases, a telephone by my side
巷中拾得的椅子 and a chair found in the alley.
不说法语 也不通英语 I spoke neither French nor English.
选择移居蒙特利尔 I had chosen to move to Montreal,
只为远离故国 家族 as far as possible from my country, my family,
记忆 童年 所爱 与旧物牵绊 my memories, my childhood, my loves, my belongings.
搬迁使物件失去日常功用 When you move, objects are deprived of their everyday use.
它们蜷缩在标着"厨房" They're in a cardboard box labelled "kitchen,"
"浴室""一号卧室"的纸箱里 "bathroom," "bedroom number 1."
永别了 Farewell. 新公寓 A new apartment.
新的告别 New farewells. 学生时代的迁徙 The moves of my student years.
离婚后的搬迁 Post-divorce move.
跨国迁徙 Moving to other countries.
归来 Coming back.
新公寓 A new apartment.
人生可用搬迁目录来讲述 An entire life can be told as a catalogue of moves.
[鸟鸣啁啾] [Birds chirping]
我在科特-德-内日公墓学会英文阅读 I learned how to read English in the Côte-des-Neiges cemetery.
不妨说是亡者教会我识字 One could say it was the dead who taught me how to read.
穿行墓碑间的蜿蜒小径 I was walking along a path among the tombstones.
最初习得的词汇： The first words I learned:
安宁 永恒 此处 peace, eternal, here, 生 卒 born, died,
上帝 追忆 God, memory.
指尖颤抖着描摹碑文轮廓 Nervously, I trace the outlines with my finger.
还有无数姓名... And names, many names....
及时行乐 Carpe diem.
此地 我谁都不是 Here, I'm nobody.
甚至遗忘了自己的名字 I don't even know my own name anymore.
在此处 我的名字有三种译法 Here, my name translates 3 different ways.
柏拉图曾说 物与人 Plato said that objects and people
皆与其名紧密相连 are deeply connected to their names.
既然我有三个名字 Since I have 3 different names,
必与三个自我相连 I must be connected to 3 different versions of me.
我们即是我 I am us.
- 我们即是我 - I am us.
[音乐间奏] ♪ ♪
- 不 我在此并无陌生之感 - No, I don't feel like a stranger here.
[飞鸟啼鸣] [Birds calling]
我们都是移民者 We are all immigrants.
至少是从童年迁出的移民 Immigrants, if only from our childhood.
我们都将童年遗落 We've all left it behind,
连同玩具弹珠与汽车收藏 with its playthings, marbles, toy-car collections.
最终 In the end,
唯有机舱让我感到归属 the only place I really feel at home is on a plane,
悬于两国之间 天地之间 between two countries, between heaven and earth,
即便在狭窄座位上形单影只 even if I do feel alone in my narrow seat.
靠窗还是过道？ Aisle or window?
无关紧要 It has no importance.
抓起行李箱 I grab my suitcase.
箱体贴着标签 There's a sticker on it.
蒙特利尔有家名为"布加勒斯特"的杂货店 There's a grocery store in Montreal called Bucaresti.
"布加勒斯特杂货店"
自冷战起 时光在此凝固 Since the Cold War, time has stood still there.
所有商品都与 All the goods are the same ones
共产主义末年的存货别无二致 we had in the last years of communism.
如今在其原产国都已绝迹 Today, they aren't even found in their country of origin.
有些产自蒙特利尔郊区 Some are manufactured in small factories
的小型工厂 in the suburbs of Montreal,
标签设计分毫不差 with identical designs on their labels.
滋养着东欧移民的怀旧情结 They feed the nostalgia of Eastern European immigrants.
罗马尼亚香皂 匈牙利红椒粉 Romanian soap, Hungarian paprika,
塞尔维亚茄子酱 苏联克非尔酸奶糖 Serbian ajvar, Soviet kefir and candies.
这更是博物馆而非杂货店 It's more museum than grocery store.
怀旧与哀伤的博物馆 The museum of nostalgia and sorrow.
[手机震动] [Phone vibrating]
就在此刻 That's where, suddenly,
收到母亲讯息： I receive a message from my mother:
"父病危住院 速归！" "Your father is sick, hospitalized. Call home!"
我正于收银台前 I'm at the cash register,
支付茄子酱与羊奶酪 paying for my ajvar and kashkaval.
英语收银员用罗马尼亚语搭话 The English-speaking cashier addresses me in Romanian.
我以俄语回应 I answer in Russian.
[电话忙音] [Dial tone]
我将自制的时光胶囊装入行囊 I assemble my own time capsule in a suitcase.
内含Bi-Bib泡泡糖包装纸 It will contain a Bi-Bib bubble-gum wrapper,
兰博基尼Silhouette敞篷车照片 a photo of a targa-top Lamborghini Silhouette,
锡兵与茄子酱罐 a tin soldier, a jar of ajvar.
[火车轰鸣] [Train chugging]
列车驶近丘斯滕迪尔 The train approaches Kyustendil,
我的出生之地 the town in which I was born.
心脏如常剧烈跳动 As always, my heart is pounding.
父亲会如往常般 Will my father be there as usual,
在站台等候吗？ waiting at the station?
列车到站 缓缓停驻 We arrive. The train comes to a stop.
古老车站矗立百年古树间 The old station with its century-old trees.
[刹车尖啸] [Brakes screeching]
时光在此凝滞 Time has stopped here.
唯有父亲在这永恒小镇衰老 Only my father ages in this unchanging town.
每个国度都有巴察诺夫式人物 Every country has its Major Batsanov.
整支巴察诺夫大军 An entire army of Major Batsanovs
维持着世界秩序 keeps order in this world.
他们发号施令 The Batsanovs lead and give orders.
不问对象与缘由 They don't ask who or why.
即便政委下令毁灭世界 If a commissar commands the destruction of the world,
巴察诺夫也会毫不犹豫执行 Major Batsanov will give the order without a second thought.
[俄语喊叫声] [Man shouting in foreign language]
⚠ 核 弹 警 报 ⚠
"核弹！"巴察诺夫高喊 "Nuclear!" Batsanov calls out, "Nuclear bomb!"
这是我们佩戴防毒面具的信号 It's the signal for us to put on our gas masks on.
只有12秒时间 We've got 12 seconds.
戴不上就得死 If you can't get it on, you're dead.
于我而言 世界末日只需 In my mind, that's how long it takes for the world to end:
精确的12秒 exactly 12 seconds.
成功戴上面具者生 Those who can manage to get their masks on will survive.
余者皆亡 Everyone else will die.
不知如今反应迟钝的父亲 I wonder if my father will manage
能否及时戴好 now that his reflexes have slowed.
[面具下的呼吸声] [Man breathing through mask]
戴着防毒面具的他 恍若米诺陶 With the gas mask, he looks a lot like a Minotaur.
该如何称呼这种 What do you call the compulsion to make lists,
通过清单讲述故事的强迫症？ to tell stories through lists?
对遗忘的恐惧？ A fear of forgetting?
父亲临终前便患此疾 My father had that illness at the end.
他常外出迷途街巷 He would go out and lose his way in the streets.
最常被发现呆立车站 Most often, he could be found at the train station,
凝望往来列车 standing there, watching the trains.
我最大的梦魇 My worst nightmare is that, one day,
便是终有一日 I'll end up just like that,
却在机场呆望飞机起降 except at an airport, watching the planes land and take off.
[机场广播模糊不清] [Women talking on PA, indistinct]
忘却欲往何方 I won't remember where I was headed.
最可怖的是 遗忘归处 Worst of all, I'll have forgotten where to return.
[音乐渐起] ♪ ♪
酒店房间是完美的记忆真空 Hotel rooms are perfect, memory-free places.
理想客房不留任何存在痕迹 The ideal hotel room betrays no prior presence.
退房后的清扫 Cleaning after check-out
本质是记忆的清除 is above all the wiping out of memory.
没有什么比遗忘更绝对 Nothing is as sterile as forgetting.
[孩童笑声] [Child laughing]
我竭尽全力维系家庭 I did everything I could to make my family work...
但哀伤未减 反愈加深重 but my sorrow, instead of dissipating, deepened.
日渐封闭自我 I became increasingly withdrawn.
彼时唯一心愿 是护女儿周全 At those times, all I wanted was to spare my daughter.
开始接受所有电影节邀约 I started accepting every invitation I got
远赴他乡 for film festivals.
异国 他城... Other countries, other cities...
同样的哀伤 same sorrow.
临行前 女儿赠我她最爱的恐龙玩具 Before I left, my daughter gave me her favourite dinosaur.
从此随身携带 I've kept it with me ever since.
数年后 读到她日记中的字句 A few years later, I read in her diary...
"父亲与恐龙 "My father and the dinosaurs
同时消失了" disappeared at the same time."
你还好吗？ How are you?
近况如何？ How's it going?
我好吗？ How am I?
并不好 I'm not.
句号 Period.
但总该有残存之物 There must be something that remains, though,
可供重启人生 something you could use to start over.
末日翌日 The day after the Apocalypse,
将无新闻 也无报纸 there will be no news, no newspapers.
何等讽刺 How ironic.
人类史上最重大事件 The most significant event in the whole history of humanity
竟无媒体关注 will get no media attention.
无人会在脸书写下： Nobody will post on their Facebook page:
"世界终结了" "The world has ended."
[音乐渐隐] ♪ ♪
我逝于2019年末 I died in late 2019.
- 作为男性人类死去 - ...as a human being of the male sex.
- 我死于2057年冬 - I died in December, 2057.
- 我遗忘所有 - I remember nothing.
- 我曾作为果蝇死于黄昏 - I died as a fruit fly at dusk.
- 我始终在死亡 - I have always been dead.
我记得作为酸浆木的死亡 I remember dying as a cranberry shrub.
- 作为夜莺 - As a nightingale. - 作为银杏 - A ginkgo biloba.
- 作为七月的云 - A cloud in July.
- 作为被四月迟雪冻僵的早樱 - An early cherry blossom frozen by a late April snow.
- 作为蜗牛 - As a snail.
- 我们即是我 - I was us.
[♪《昨日之火》- 月面乐队♪] [♪ Yesterday's Fire by Moonface ♪]
♪我们演绎坠落♪ ♪ The way we played The Fall ♪
♪将你的餐盘摔向墙壁♪ ♪ And broke your plates against the wall ♪
♪当朝阳升起时♪ ♪ As the sun rose ♪
♪我们相拥入眠在玻璃房♪ ♪ Then we fell asleep in the glass ♪
♪而后我不得不离去♪♪ ♪ And then I had to go ♪♪
字幕提供：MELS工作室 Closed Captions:MELS